Local man writes book about cancer struggle

(Times Photo/Kristin Sullivan) Thomas Brown and second wife, Connie. Brown wrote his newly released book, “Men Bleed Too,” on his experiences helping his late wife Barbara in her struggle with cancer. Brown will be signing copies of his book at 11 a.m. on Saturday, Jan. 21 at The Book Barn, 410 Delaware.

There are many books on dealing with cancer, but fewer books aim to help those who have lost a loved one to the disease.

Thomas Brown, a Leavenworth resident, has recently released “Men Bleed Too: A Compelling Story About One Man’s Struggle to Help His Wife Fight Breast Cancer.”

“This story is about me and the role I take as caregiver,” Brown said, explaining how his story documents his involvement with and reactions to his wife’s sickness and, ultimately, her death.

Brown’s straightforward demeanor and military credentials — he retired as a full colonel — do not seem to leave much room for vulnerability. Yet this is exactly what the book is about — coping with circumstances that leave a person entirely vulnerable.

“Men Bleed Too” documents every stage of Brown’s experiences with his wife, Barbara, until she succumbs to cancer.

“At the time she was diagnosed, I had very little knowledge of breast cancer,” Brown said.

From that point on Brown began exhaustive research into cancer, both from scientific and experiential points of view. It was difficult to find books about breast cancer from the male point of view, however.

“I found lots of books written by women,” Brown said. “But I couldn’t find books (about breast cancer) written by men.”

This surprised Brown, because he knew that many men must have to deal with caring for a wife suffering from the disease. At this point he made a new resolution.

“I decided to start keeping a journal,” he said. “When I arrived at the hospital, I’d have the journal...I recorded everything I could about her.”

The journal, which included details about drugs, diet, medical procedures and symptoms, gradually began to include emotional reactions and was even “a place to vent,” Brown said.

Rituals and routines figure heavily in Brown’s approach to life during his wife’s sickness. He conveys how these daily patterns gave him the stability to remain pro-active as well as to be a source of strength for Barbara throughout her ordeal.

The emotional impact of losing a loved one became the primary focus of the book. However, Brown explained that even though it is about a specific circumstance, “I wrote it so it doesn’t necessarily have to be cancer.”

The need for the story, he said, exists because “hundreds of thousands of people are going through this right now, some who don’t know how to deal with it, (some) who don’t deal with it.”

The book also describes some of the healing process. However, Brown is doing preliminary work on a second book that deals more fully with the next stage of life after the death of a loved one, he said. Brown remarried later in life, and his next book will be about his current wife, Connie, who also lost her first husband. The book, he said, will be called “She Taught Me to Laugh Again.”

“The focus is two people who have just lost a spouse helping each other through the grieving process,” Brown said of the next book.

“Men Bleed Too” has received the Editor’s Choice Award through its publishing company, iUniverse. The book is available on Amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, iUniverse.com and can be ordered at any bookstore.

Brown will conduct an author’s signing from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday, Jan. 21 at The Book Barn, 410 Delaware.